2023 Fool’s Rules Regatta
From the Jamestown Press 31 August 2023
FOOLS RUSH IN AT EAST FERRY
‘Wonderful tradition’ entertains as usual at East Ferry
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Bright sunshine, clear skies and temperate weather may have signified an ideal summer day, but the commotion on the beach Saturday at East Ferry was anything but a casual scene.
Mayhem paid homage to sublime ridiculousness at the 45th Fools’ Rules Regatta when sailboats — contraptions, really — raced 500 feet, including a vessel that was constructed from crates, which was afloat due to inflated balls that were embedded underneath. There was a replica of a Jamestown ferryboat made from cardboard, a duck-decorated drift and a fleet of inflated mattresses and pool floats. There also was a golf-inspired vessel fit with paddling clubs, not to be outdone by the structure that was paddled by hockey sticks.
Sponsored by the Jamestown Yacht Club, participants were given two hours to build their contrivances once the cannon was fired at 9 a.m. Races commenced at 11 a.m. in five classes, determined by the number of sailors onboard, with the floating catastrophes hitting the water with mixed results. Some boats sank, but most just chugged along, with a singlehanded vessel seemingly heading out to sea rather than the finish line.
Alex Hirsh goes head over heels after crossing the finish line in first place onboard Hold my Drink in the singlehanded class. PHOTO BY ANDREA VON HOHENLEITEN
Alex Hirsh goes head over heels after crossing the finish line in first place onboard Hold my Drink in the singlehanded class.
“We came over and met for this event,” said spectator Vicky Bernard, of Andover, Mass.
Bernard was with her husband, Alan, their son, Andy, daughter-in-law, Liz, and teenaged grandson, Matthew, who traveled from Tolland, Conn.
“We’re scoping it out for next year,” Vicky said.
“We want to enter,” Andy added. “That’s why we’re here, to figure out what works and what doesn’t work.”
More importantly, however, the Bernard family was in Jamestown to see “what’s the funniest.”
“There’s a dimension of sea worthiness to humor that you have to have,” Andy said.
“It just seems hilarious,” added his son, Matt.
The last time the Bernards tried to meet up at the Fools’ Rules Regatta, their car got a flat tire and they never made it. This year, the family was ecstatic to witness the revelry together for the first time, especially the boats that sank.
“That’s half the fun,” Vicky said.
Allison Mankin and her daughter, Molly, are staying at their place in Jamestown for the summer. They also were in the crowd to watch the foolishness.
“We used to do it when I was a little kid,” said Molly, of Boston. “Building your own boat, when you’re a little kid, is like the coolest thing.”
Allison, who lives in Washington, D.C., when she’s not in Jamestown, calls the regatta a “wonderful tradition.”
“Our family loves engineering,” she said. “This was a good start in the fun, engineering department.”
Although the Mankin family has completed the course in the past without sinking, they are not decorated fools.
“We never won anything,” Allison said. “Maybe we’ll do it again.”
For some spectators, it takes a while to work up the courage to enter. Peter Firmin, for example, of Narragansett, was thinking that “soon” might just be the right time to finally enter the sailing competition. That was decades ago. Firman’s been to about 30 regattas as a spectator.
“We’re contemplating entering soon,” he quipped. “It’s not easy.”
Firman said “a challenge of confidence” had prevented him from taking the next step in the tomfoolery. He also noticed the use of bamboo for the first time on one of the designs, and eyed the inflatable dragon floats used on another boat with suspicion.
“It seemed a little bit of an unfair advantage,” he quipped.
Firmin recalled the funniest moment he witnessed in his three-decade span as a spectator, which happened about 15 years ago. It was a four-person design that included a love seat strapped to the upmost top of the vessel. The creative, yet unwieldy, concoction ended up toppling into the water. If Firmin were to leave the safety of the beach for the high seas in 2024, he insisted that his design “would be something relatively foolish.”
Class 1
1st place: Hold My Drink (Alex Hirsh)
Class 2
1st place: Flying Unicorn (Ryan Goodburn)
2nd place: Mr. Zipp (Marr Archibald)
3rd place: OS Racing (Aiden Hastings and Abby Bickley)
Class 3
1st place: Banana Power (Greydon and Rowan Silva)
Class 4
1st place: Fail Boat (Sean O’Donnell)
2nd place: Aqilla Gorilla (Ellery Hastings and Caroline Buckley)
Class 5
1st place: Jamestown Ferries (Deb White)
Most Ingenious Design: Double Bogey (Andrew and Asa Avery)
Judges’ Award: Evil Ace in the Hole III (Chris Roemelin)
Worst Example of Naval Architecture: Bottle Rocket (Mark Campbell)
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