2024 Fool’s Rules Regatta

From the Jamestown Press 22 August 2024

FOOLISH WAY TO SPEND THE DAY

The 46th annual Fools’ Rules Regatta rained chaos upon the East Ferry shoreline Saturday as boats only a fool would crew attempted to sail to victory.

Sponsored by the Jamestown Yacht Club, crews were allotted two hours to construct their sailing crafts – if you can call them that – on the beach made from items not intended for the purpose. Although boats could be preconstructed, they were required to be disassembled and built again. The two-hour construction commenced at 9 am. with ensuing amusement.

“We only had like a day to build it,” said Amelia Archibald, 9, who was in Jamestown visiting her grandparents from Minnesota.

The theme of her nautical vehicle was cats. Some of the cat details included faux fur that lined the wood base of her entry, a cat curtain that acted as a sail, and even a decorative litter box – in case the boat was lost to sea when nature called.

Her aunt, who was also staying at her grandparents’ place, was a “big help” in the construction details, according to Amelia. The family, which used “some of this stuff that was just in my grandpa’s basement,” had several Zoom meetings leading up to the event.

“There’s a lot of planning that’s very important,” she said.

The Fools’ Rules Regatta is becoming a tradition for Amelia’s family, and animals seem to be the theme. Their feline boat followed their 2023 vessel based on ducks, and Amelia joked that next year it would probably be horses.

Another young sailor, Anna Dowling, 8, from Virginia, also was visiting family. She had designed a float with a panda and bamboo theme.

“I came here last year and watched it, and ever since then, I’ve been asking my family, ‘Can we come to the regatta? Can we enter the regatta?’ And now we’ve done it,” she said.

Cannons fired at the start of each class race, with events featuring five classes depending on the number of crew onboard. The singlehanded class launched at 11 a.m. and once they set sail, utter chaos reigned supreme as the boats crashed in an entertaining blend of anarchy by the time the event concluded.

Traditional sails are not allowed, but there were plenty of tarps, shower curtains and bed sheets used as haphazard replacements to help the nautical vessels catch the wind. Sometimes they worked, sometimes they didn’t.

“I hope we don’t die,” quipped B.J. Whitehouse, whose float in the Class 4 category, “Diamonds are Forever,” commemorated the organization’s 75th anniversary. “This is completely recycled material. The interior hole is all plastic bottles.”

Asked about his confidence in staying afloat, “We’ve done the math,” Whitehouse quipped. The conductor, however, offered a disclaimer. “I feel confident that we can swim.”

“As long as you have a hand on it, it still counts,” said his crewmate, Steve Murphy.

Floats are a legal component and there were plenty of crews that took advantage of that rule, most notably a group of Vikings, onboard a boat called SS Minnow, who descended upon the shore resplendent in matching costumes.

Just like their historical counterparts, the Vikings dominated their section of the competition competing in Class 5, which allows for an unlimited number of crew. Unlike the real Vikings, however, they weren’t met with success, crashing onto shore almost the moment they took off. They were burdened by heavy cargo with their Viking float pulling a line of additional tubes.

They may not have had the most efficient design, but what they lacked in ability, they made up in personality and theme, which is why they were rewarded with judge’s award by Greg Hunter, the master of ceremonies as chief fool.

The sure-to-capsize designed “Magic School Gus,” was named the worst example of naval architecture and “Hi Neighbor, Bye Neighbor” was awarded as the most ingenious design.

Twenty-four boats participated in the 2024 Fools’ Rules Regatta.
Class 1
1st – “Prime Delivery” by Louis Cannon
2nd – “One Way Trip” by Alex Hirsh
Class 2
1st – “Something Fishy” by Ted Archibalds
2nd – “High Utility” by Grant Adam
Class 3
1st – “Hi Neighbor, Bye Neighbor” by Saudi Haun
2nd – Rock Steady” by Corey Sielger
Class 4
1st – “Zach and Jack Attack” by Dennis Nixon
2nd – “Downwind Dog” by Matt Archibald
3rd – “Mermaids and Yetis” by Penny and Ryan Tracy
Class 5
1st – “SS Minnow” by Steve DeVoe
Most Ingenious Design – “Hi Neighbor, Bye Neighbor” by Saudi Haun
Judge’s Award – “SS Minnow” by Steve DeVoe
Worst Example of Naval Architecture – “The Magic Skipper Bus” by Ted Linn