25 YEARS OF FOOLISHNESS: THE FOOLS’ RULES REGATTA
In 1978, Karl Smith proposed holding an unusual sailing event to fellow Jamestown Taxpayers Association members to help celebrate Jamestown’s tricentenial. He had heard of a build-your-own-vessel regatta in California, and thought it might be fun to try here. The original committee included Dick Boenning, Cliff Chappel, Travis Coxe, Trudy Coxe, Martha Greig, Tom Greig, Kitty Grimes, Dick Miner, Ed Morhino, Forrest Pease, Win Reed, and Bruce Wigton, and of course, Karl Smith. The rules were clear: no traditional marine items could be used, the vessel must be wind-powered, and conventional life jackets were not allowed (this rule was later changed). The official rules were cleverly written by Karl and have remained virtually unchanged through the years. There were four classes (1, 2, 3, and 4 person crews), and there was a limit of 10 boats per class. The committee screened the applicants for “good faith and competent quality,” according to Karl. There were 16 entrants that first year, and the event was covered on the front page of the Standard Times the week after. In his report to the Taxpayers Association Karl boasted a successful event and proudly noted that the beach was left as clean after the regatta as it was before. An overwhelming decision was made to hold the regatta the next year. The John Biddle family’s “Kitchen Sink” won the “Most Spectacular Boat” award. The “Snoozer Cruiser,” was made from a bed “because that was all that was in the attic,” according to Don Cloud, who along with Jack Whitaker skippered the vessel.
In 1979 the regatta was moved to Potter’s Cove because raw sewage was being dumped at East Ferry. Mrs. Curtis Fischer made a poster, as well as a banner, which hung downtown. A radio interview took place on WEAN publicizing the regatta. A miniature cannon announced the beginning of each race, and shouts of “shark” and “hurricane” were heard amid the commotion. There were 17 entrants, including the “Snoozer Cruiser” which added a second sail to last year’s design and won the award for the “Worst Example of Naval Architecture.” “Breaking Wind” with Steve Froberg, Rick Santos, and George Sisson, was one of the more unusual designs, winning the “Most Spectacular Vessel” award, although it eventually sank. The design was a bathroom, complete with fixtures, with the crew on board shaving and bathing, and the helmsman sitting on the toilet. One of the crew of the “Honey Pot,” architect Bill Burgin, described his vessel as a “South Seas design,” complete with ladder, lumber, and trashcans. Other crew were wife Dinny, and friends, Bar and Nick Wharton. Ribbons were given out to the winners for the first time.
1980 brought the new rule requiring that life jackets be worn by each crewmember due to a near-disaster the previous year. The regatta was also returned to East Ferry to allow for more space. Seventeen vessels participated. For the first time the event was covered on two TV news programs. Kathy Scott (now Sylvia) won the “Worst Example of Naval Architecture” because her boat sank.
Chris Powell took over from Karl Smith as “Chief Fool” in 1981. Thirty-seven boats entered the competition, and a record number of spectators were on hand to watch the merriment. Because of the number of larger vessels with many crews, an Unlimited class was formed for vessels with 5 or more crewmembers. One of the most unusual entries was “A Bunch of Fruits” with George Sisson, Rick Santos, Steve Froberg, and Larry Smith, fashioned after the Fruit of the Loom fellows. Special permission had to be obtained to use the design. National Geographic World magazine covered the regatta, thanks to Diana Smith (Karl’s wife and former publicity chair) who contacted the magazine the year before. A new banner, lasting many years, was made from a sail by Aaron Jasper, who was then with North Sails in Newport.
1982 boasted 38 entrants. “Evening Magazine” (a TV newsmagazine in Boston) covered the event, and the reporters had a lot of fun and sent a nice thank-you letter. Fred Pease (former Town Council president) captured an award aboard “Kontiki.” Victor Richardson (the same Press photographer) won an award for his design, “Big Wheel,” and Dr. Robert Kinder won “Worst Example of Naval Architecture” for his “I.V. Queen.” Participants and guests celebrated with lunch at the Bay Voyage Inn.
One of the more unusual designs in 1983 was Mary Bonert’s (now Mary Webster) design using pickle pails from Fuzzy Andreozzi’s Sandwich Stop (located where the Oyster Bar is now). 8400 slices of pickles were estimated to have been eaten to empty the 28 pails needed! “Bag O Wind” with skipper, Al Lopes, made its debut and took 1st place in Class 3, and credited its win to having lightweight kids as crew. “Snoozer Cruiser” had its first victory, which Don Cloud claimed was because he had his lighter-weight son on board rather than his usual adult partner. One report said that at times there were more heads bobbing in the water than on top of the boats. This year the National Geographic World magazine article was published, with a great story and lots of wonderful colored pictures The “Worst Example of Naval Architecture” award recipient was “Pave the Bay,” with Steve Froberg and crew.
1984’s regatta was sponsored for the first time by the Jamestown Fools’ Rules Regatta Committee comprised of those who had helped with the event in previous years. There were 31 registrants, and second and third place winners were given Fools’ Rules Regatta tee shirts. The local press gave the regatta front-page coverage. A new buoyancy technique tried this year was the use of helium balloons. One reporter observed that most spectators for this race gather at the starting line, rather than the finish line, the usual preferred spot for most sailing events because so few actually cross the finish line. A duel ensued in the Unlimited class resulting in a tie for first place. The “Flywood Plyer,” skippered by Fred Pease had a 40-foot tree for a mast, and an olympic-sized swimming pool cover for a sail. The crew claimed they sailed their vessel to Newport and around Castle Hill after the regatta. Another boat’s design caused one spectator to ask,”Which end is the bow?” The answer, “Whichever end moves the fastest!” “Most Ingenious Design this year:” Victor Richardson’s “Jet Star III,” and “Worst Example of Naval Architecture:” Scott Fielding in “New Age Tri-tube.”
The regatta in 1985 was dubbed a “Year of the Ocean” event, thanks to Representative Claudine Schneider. A record 39 boats participated, and the beach was described as a “monstrous tool box and playpen.” Controversy arose when MERL II had a passenger dog on board, which nearly disqualified the boat from Class 3. Skipper Peter Sampou admitted (off camera) that the dog’s job was to paddle on the other side of the boat out of sight from the judges, and said that the dog was definitely a key factor. Due to light wind and vessel design, the Class 1 race took longer than the actual construction time. Tee shirts were sold for the first time to cover costs of awards and publicity and to raise money to sustain the event. The shirts were so popular, they have been sold every year since. The “Worst Example of Naval Architecture” was won by the “S.S. Wedgie.”
1986 brought only 20 entrants to the event, but they were original. Sarah Loats, Liza Roach, and Bunty Burgin aboard “New Wave” had an advantage over their adult competitors because their total weight was reported to be equal to just one of the adult crew members of another boat.
1987 was the year of the 10th annual celebration of the regatta. Twenty-seven boats participated, and all crewmembers were given “I’M A 10th YEAR FOOL” button. Chief Fool, Chris Powell’s unusual nautical outfit of mismatched socks, and other strange attire made him look like an escapee from “Gilligan’s Island.” Don Cloud and Jack Whitaker were dubbed the most senior fools, having been the only team to enter each year. When asked why they continue to race, Cloud’s answer was, “I guess we’re just fools!” Eleven year old Mike Jacquard was nearly late to the starting line because he constructed his boat from leftover materials from other vessels – obviously left over for a reason, since Mike’s boat sank!! A newlywed couple hopped into a tub with an umbrella as a sail, as an example of the description of the boats as “anything but sleek and polished.” One newspaper touted the boats as “barely seaworthy” and the crew as “fools.” Tina Morgan and her father Hal built their boat from hay bales. “We’re from Exeter, Hal explained, “we have to keep up the country image.” The question of hay’s buoyancy was soon answered as the vessel actually floated until it became so heavy with water that it succumbed. Bud Fischer had “visions of becoming a star” as crew of “Chicken of the Sea,” a wish borne out as the vessel finished first in the Unlimited Class. Local resident, opthamologist, Bob Kinder, used 100 inflated blood bags as flotation in his “I.V.Queen.” A Challenge Race was held for previous years’ winners and “Bomber Charger” with Patience, Joshua, and Jeremiah Leonard won hands down.
1988 brought Spike Webb from California as a visitor to grandparents June and Keith Webb and skipper of one of the 30 boats entered. Class 1 had to be restarted due to lack of wind, but eventually Spike aboard “Silver Bullet” crossed the line in first place. The “Most Ingenious Design” went to Jeff D’Amico’s “S.S.Minnow,” and the “Worst Example of Naval Architecture” went to Frank Newman’s (former President of URI) “Freudian Sloop.”
1989 brought more fun antics from the 32 vessels. The crew of “Almost Home,” Kim Walsh and Sarah Neronha had to be towed ashore, but vowed to return!! A northerly breeze wreaked havoc with many of the boats, sending them into the mooring field or capsizing them. Karen Knudsen thought she had a clever idea, but, alas, her boat MELTED. You see, the hull was made of four 300-pound blocks of ice that melted as soon as they hit the 70-degree water!! For that, she received the “Worst Example of Naval Architecture” award. A local newspaper reported after the regatta of 1990 that Jamestown survived another “assault by an armada of fools.” Those fools were on board 39 vessels. The Jamestown Yacht Club began sponsoring the event this year. Half of the proceeds from the sale of the tee shirts was donated to a children’s charity or activity determined by the regatta committee. This tradition has continued since. The crew on some of the boats was so numerous there was barely enough room on the boats.
The 1991 regatta had 25 entrants, and what a motley lot they were. Todd Russell of Newport wore a linen suit to counter the “ugliness” of his vessel made from an old truck cab. Tim Broekema and Molly McCoy dressed as bride and groom with a wedding party as their crew. They boarded their vessel to the tune of the “Wedding March.” The Jamestown Press ran a great human-interest story on Fools’ Rules Regatta founder, Karl Smith and the beginnings of the regatta. Karl‘s background as a mechanical engineer and his lifelong interest in machines spurred his desire to create the regatta.
1992 was described by publicity chair, Candy Powell as being an unusual year because many of the boats actually sailed. Colby and Galen Nelson, crew on one of the 33 entrants, came all the way from Glenallen, Alaska. David Weyerman of Wickford credited numerology for his win in Class 3. His sail cost $15, his vessel was #15, and it was the 15th year of the regatta. John Matson, from Tiverton, a butcher by trade, used Perdue chicken boxes, netting him 3rd place in his division. “Bag-A-Wind,” with skipper Al Lopes, returned for the 9th year. Kathy Brownell’s crew on “Damsels in Distress” was heard shouting “Help, help” as they sailed by. Amid shouts of “bring the cup to Jamestown in 1997,” Chief Fool, Powell, shot back,”This is the cup. Dennis Connor would give up everything he owns to be here!” Little did he know that by 1996 Dennis Connor was racing real boats in the Jamestown Yacht Club racing series!! Kathy Brownell’s crew of “Damsels in Distress” won the Judges Award for best overall theme. “The Ark” won the award for the “Most Ingenious Design.”`
1993 brought out a record number of 44 boats, and again, Chris was dressed in his “unique yachtsman garb” as he shouted encouragement to the crew as he strolled the beach. The Judges’ Award was given for the first time to the vessel with the best theme overall. Al D’Amico with his crew of “And Too Too” was heard shouting “pass the wrench, wench,” undoubtedly to the chagrin of some women spectators. 10 year old Tiffany Spencer didn’t decide until the morning of the event to call her friend, Katherine Swistak, to see if she wanted to enter a boat. Frank Newman’s family has made a tradition out of designing and building a boat each year. He described the process as very structured: they decide on a theme and vote in a “very democratic fashion.” Son Peter, however, said it was more “chaotic” than democratic. A crewmember on the Unlimited Class winning entry, Elizabeth D’Amico noted her surprise at winning the class because “we had one person caught between two sails the whole time.”
Blue skies were abundant in 1994 for the 39 entrants who came from as far away as England. Jonathan Stoeckle said he was. Political themes this year included “Health Reform” and “For Sale: Arkansas This Way” with an arrow pointing down. Chris Powell was described in a local newspaper as “foolishly dressed,” a contrast for the “otherwise mild-mannered Conservation Commissioner.” Founder Karl Smith’s quote of the day, “for 17 years this has been an island standard.” “Most Ingenious Design:” “Mighty Duck,” Joe Allard, “Worst Example of Naval Architecture:” “Class Act” with Jeff D’Amico, and Judges’ Award: “Penguins in Distress,” with Kathy Brownell.
In 1995, in spite of the regatta this year being on the heels of hurricane Felix, crew again came from as far away as England to be included in the 32 entries. “Coastal Journal” featured a story on the regatta, and reported that one of the boats sailed to Newport after the regatta “to mock those more accustomed to the sleek craft of the America’s Cup competition.” The vessel “Wild Cat” used beach balls for floatation, but as the boat entered the water before the race, the balls let loose which made it an excellent choice for the “Worst Example of Naval Architecture.” Other unusual paraphernalia included an umbrella for propulsion, a shovel for a rudder, and a cooler for floatation. Bob Hagam of Narragansett called the event “Americana at its best.” “Most Ingenious Design:” “Total Chaos,” with John Matson, and “Judges’ Award:” “Starship Enterprise” with Jeff D’Amico and Jim Fitzharris.
In 1996, 48 boats competed in the pouring rain, a first in the regatta’s history. When Chris’ niece, Marissa Corda from Miami, designed the poster and tee shirt design and added the logo, “I survived the 19th annual Fools’ Rules Regatta,” little did she know how true that motto would be. As the weather deteriorated before the races began, dark clouds loomed, and a threat of severe winds and rain was forecast, Chief Fool Chris was contemplating minute to minute whether (no pun intended) to call the races or not. Then a meteorologist with the US Weather Service came up to him and offered her help. He insisted she remain at his side until the storm passed and tell him if conditions, in her opinion, became unsafe. The rains came, but fortunately no lightning. The crew, committee, and spectators were drenched by the awards ceremony, but a great time was had by all. Duck tape ruled as king. Harold Whiting of Charlestown was heard saying “Duck tape is God,” and Fools’ Rules veteran, John Matson agreed, “Duck tape is probably the most important thing.” Fifteen-year veteran, Frank Newman and his crew were up all night, as usual, designing and constructing their vessel “Most Ingenious Design went to “The Whacky Beach Noodles” with Charlie Beauchamp, “Judges Award: “Carmen in Distress” with Kathy Brownell, and the “Worst Example of Naval Architecture:” “Miss Jamestown” with Tiffany Spencer. The week after the regatta, plans were under way for the 20th year, with special events and celebrations planned for 1997.
1997 marked the 20th year of the event. Jamestown Press cartoonist Frank Caswell not only designed the poster but created a clever cartoon about a sinking entry. The event dominated the front page of many local newspapers. “Turtle Top,” skippered by 8 year old Ben Bershad, proved that simplicity can be the key to success. His boat was the inverted lid of a sandbox, steered by a hockey stick for a rudder, and an umbrella held in his hand for a sail. “Turtle Top” was also named this year’s “Most Ingenious Design.” Kathy Brownell’s “Floating Elvises” were quite a sight: 5 sailors dressed in gold-flecked painted jumpsuits, sporting sunglasses and fake sideburns. Elvis tunes emanated from the +craft prior to the race. Other boats were made from Lexan (“Nothing But Glass”), and floatation noodles (“Oodles of Noodles,” and “Sidewinder.” The motto of the day for veteran Frank Newman’s international crew was “Float and Win.” Fifty-seven vessels (a record number) competed, and entertained the crowd, estimated to be near 1000.
The morning of the 1998 regatta, the QE – II sat in Newport harbor, providing a striking contrast to the barely floating vessels of our event. The largest so far, with 59 “boats,” was dubbed by Chief fool, Chris Powell, “the biggest and the best.” The Newport Daily News ran an editorial calling this a “delightful event, which we hope continues forever.” “Bag – o – Wind, “ (now 15 years old and sporting a new, younger crew, chalked up another 1st place win in Class 4. “Butterflies in Distress” admitted they are always “something in distress” because they don’t know have much sailing experience.
The regatta of 1999 once again ruled the front page of newspapers, the Newport Daily News calling it a “farcical flotilla.” “Twisted Sister,” whose crew included Pam Spencer, entertained the crowd as it tried to maneuver its way down the course. Other boat names, such as “Barely Afloat” and “Bottom of the Sea III” gave indications of the doubt that these boats would actually cross the finish line. Indeed, “Barely Afloat” was not afloat a mere 10 yards down the course. One spectator commented that watching boats fall apart was as entertaining as watching them succeed. “The Good Ship Mr. Zip, Zip, Zip,” and its crew of the All Guys’ Choir came away with the “Most Ingenious Design” award. “Garbage Barge” with Ben and Owen Duff won the coveted “Judges’ Award.”
One newspaper headline in 2000 wrote, “fun rules the day.” One again that was an understatement. “Jumpin Jack Flash” used a trampoline as its deck, and “Occupied” (Frank Newman) won the “Worst Example of Naval Architecture” with two portable toilets fastened together as the hull. “Clueless,” with Kelsey Moody and Sydney Ferguson used a shovel for a rudder and two umbrellas as sails aboard “The Styrofoam Boat.” Fred Pease’s crew (all men) on “Lickety Split” won the millennium challenge offered them by Susan Lutes’ all-female crew of “Sea Cups.” “Ship of Chief Fools” with the Logan family dressed like organizer Chris Powell in his blazer, captain’s hat and red bow tie.
Perfect weather and a record number of 74 entries marked the 2001 event. The wind was slow to come up; Chris Powell said it was “Watching grass grow.” Eventually all those who were destined to finish did so, and those that weren’t, well. . . .that’s entertainment at it’s best! “Mussel Power” broke in two pieces as the race began, in spite of no wind, making it an easy choice for the “Worst Example of Naval Architecture.” Erica and Kenny Lush handily sailed their “Picnic Boat” to a 1st place finish in Class 2. Costumes as always were clever: the crew of “A Little Bit of the Bubbly” covered themselves in bubble wrap. Veteran of the regatta Frank Newman commented, “we’re all a little nuts, but it’s fun.” Local artist June Webb depicted the event on note cards she created. Organizers are beginning to plan ways to commemorate next year’s 25th anniversary event.